First Rate Soup

SNL writers, you just got one right over the plate…

Old John McCain just picked Sarah Palin, the mayor of the hockey rink at the end of the bridge to nowhere, to be his running mate.

Does anyone get this? Does he think it draws attention away from his age and illness? Does he think it makes him seem more in touch with those of us without outsize wealth? Is there some Republican rule about only picking individuals from disenfranchised groups if they sell out their values? Maybe all Republicans in Alaska are under investigation and the national party is trying to airlift them out? Maybe he wants to flank Russia, who knows…

Whatever the reason, he’s decided to emulate Dubya yet again by turning to his gut for a longshot hope.

It’s a shame, with Condi, he could have had stature if not sanity.
With Romney, we could have bolstered the strategic petroleum reserve by draining his hair.
Tim Pawlenty could have helped him lose Minnesota by fewer votes
Meg Whitman could have helped him sell a few of his houses.
Huckabee could have heaped on the honkies.

But nope… Sara Palin. Hockey Mom, PTA member, Transition lens spokesperson. Mr. Biden, you may begin.

PS Soundbite fans – check out the beginning of his intro speech – “twice is enough” – John McCain

Update: Those of you not dead have noted that this role has been taken by the erstwhile but elsewhere employed SNLer, Ms. Tina Fey. No doubt the role is hers at this point, but on behalf of Ms. Dratch’s abandoned career I say: C’mon Lorne – cut a gal a break!